Dead in My Head: Afterthought

Climb Every Mountain

One of the gentleman standing near the door of the store, a little too well dressed I might add, spoke to me.

“Hey boss, you want to buy some CDs,” he said. “I got’em fa half prices yo.”

“No thank you,” I replied. “I’m good.”

“Whats wrong with you man,” says the other gentleman approaching me slowly. “You new around here? I’on’t remember seeing you before.”

“No, I’m good I need to get going here.”

“Yeah, what you got in that bag? Let me see!” The man took a swipe at my hand and I took off running. I could hear the footsteps behind me. At least three men were chasing me. It was a racial harmony chase too because I noticed the three consisted of Black, White and Hispanic. I am not even sure where the White guy came from!

By this time, as any sane person would expect, I sprinted for my life! I left them in the dust but I knew they were still following. They had the advantage because they knew the neighborhood. When I finally slowed down to look back to see how far ahead I was of them, they were nowhere to be seen. Here I was afraid of the kids in groups that I thought would attack me and the unsuspecting men in front of the store were the ones attempting my undoing.

I took a few moments to catch my breath.

I could hear laughing in the distance so I decided to look at my surroundings. I had no idea where I was. I suppose I was near a highway or something that looked like it. It was unusually dark in this area. The buildings were dark and run down. It looked like an old industrial area. I am sure that I did not run so far, but there I was. I did not know where to go, so I resolved that I had no choice. I would have to defend myself if I saw those guys coming toward me. I received my Black Belt in Kempo Karate, and felt no desire to use it this way. I would much rather run because I did not know how to defend myself without severely injuring the attackers. What if I killed someone? These men were leaving me no choice!

No sooner had I made that determination than came the first guy. He held a chain. I could tell it was the Black guy who questioned me the most. The Hispanic and White guy came on either side of me trying to back me into the largest chain linked fence created! The fence slanted towards a cross walk that led to the highway or whatever it was.

Those guys kept a distance as I hopped back and forth in a fighters stance waiting for them to shoot me or chain whip me. I could defend against two people being unscathed, but three was pushing it. I would have to kill someone.

“All we wanted to do is ask a few questions new fella,” said the Black man, the leader with a smile on his face as he tightened the chain in his grip.

“I have to warn you, I am a black belt. I don’t want to hurt any of you but I will.” My voice sounded miraculously bold and forceful. The White and Hispanic Guys stop approaching for a moment and stared at the leader. I could not see their faces anymore because we had moved near the overpass where the lights were broken. I glance quickly at one of the faded signs almost hidden in the darkness. It had a picture of a pink donut–faded but still tempting as ever. I thought to myself, I am having a donut if I get out of this. Dana will just be upset! 

I lunged forward and clip the leader.

I turned quickly and scaled the fence that was at my back as if I were being chased by wild animals–those men! I must have had Spiderman in my blood because I looked down and there was no way I should have climbed so quickly! I also saw that those three men decided I wasn’t worth the trouble.

I was sore and tired walking down the street. I remembered my cell and punched in the numbers to Dana. For some reason I could not dial the number. I then saw my brother, who should not have been there. He urged me to go with him to get away from the thugs, who were no where to be seen.

He put me on his back and hiked with me for a while. “Alan,” I queried? “I thought you were in Iraq how’d you get here?”

Alan didn’t answer, he readjusted me on his back. I could tell that he had no intention of answering questions or slowing down. I remembered my V8 and asked him to stop so I could refresh myself. I felt so tired that things in the environment looked and felt blurry–strange. He lowered me reluctantly to the ground which I thought was odd seeing as how I am a pretty heavy guy.

I pushed the thought aside as I opened the V8. Laughter literally came out of the can and sounded in the distance. I looked up for my brother, but he was gone and my hands were filled with donuts when I looked back down.

I jumped up off of the sidewalk and said, “I am going for a walk to kill the temptations” as everyone gazed at me a little shocked. They all started laughing. I felt bewildered and really strange.

“Uh uhn. let me see yo wallet,” Sonia screamed. “You know you gon go to the store and buy a candy bar–talking about you gon walk of the temptation.” I know that Sonia had said that to me earlier before I went on my walk, but here I am again I thought

“I promise, I won’t do that,” I said again as if I did not say this all before. “I just need to clear my head and get V8.”

“You want me to go with you,” Trevor said poking at his wife Pam to let her know he was going whether I wanted him to or not. “You shouldn’t be out there alone.” He started to rise. I was about to decline and then my vision or dream I suppose flashed before my eyes.

“I could use some bro time,” I said making a face at Dana. “We will be back shortly.”

“Alright” the ladies said as the other two men joined Trevor and me.

I never told the guys about what happened, but I found out that my dream about that boy whose dad died worked at that store and had gone to work that day. When heThe guy who threatened to call the police on Tray is Mrs Gonzalez’s husband, the uncle. The officer he planned to call is the boy’s mother. Having all the info made me freak inside that I dreamed this all before it happened–save I was alone instead of with a group of friends. It turns out though that my friends represented the good friends of Tray who stood behind me in line.came in he hesitated to listen to his Mrs. Gonzalez, who is the boys aunt, about going home to grieve. He appeared rough and mean, but I was not sensing danger because grief made him appear that way rather than rage

The three dudes that chased me volunteered for the neighborhood watch and are retired special forces. Any new person they saw would be questioned just in case a new 

dealer came to their neighborhood. They had finally flushed all the drugs out of that little area.

I suppose my dream was a warning that I should not be stuck up about fear and mule-hearted about receiving comfort from my buddies.

I choose to believe that it was about donuts and me not eating one. I decided to buy a donut and face the music when I get back to the house.

I had no idea at first what seeing my brother was about since he is in Iraq, but one thing that stood out the entire time was donuts. I took a bite as we headed home.

I heard word from my mother that Alan was back, and the funeral was in five days.


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The Book Of Laman Chapter One

Let it be known, that I, Laman, have nothing but the dearest admiration for our father Lehi. He and Mother have in earnest sought after our welfare all the days of our lives. I recall from when first I came to myself that our father Lehi attend all the sacrifices at the temple frequently and taught of the great beauty of the House of Israel and the blessings bestowed upon our people as God’s chosen people. I understood Father then as he spoke to the glory of Zion and the eventual conquest of Judah over all its foes….

{Continue reading] this story of Laman, the eldest brother of Nephi.

This story is based on people mentioned in The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. For the actual history and book itself, click the link on the book’s title. It will take you to the site where you can read online.

Weakness in Dozens: Afterthought


Two boxes of assorted donuts sat on the living room table. I could not believe my misfortune. Of all the days to have my favorite dessert seductively parading in front of me! My wife and I had just agreed the day before to go on a vegan diet for six weeks for some sort of cleansing. It’s not like I agreed to do it willingly. She buys all of the groceries, so it was either that or get McDonald’s each day of the six-week diet.

I thought about it for a while. I, of late, have been reading those relationship magazines because I want to make the whole marriage thing work. One of them suggested to support your spouse even when the ideas she comes up with seem strange and to be there to pick up the piece if those ideas fail.

I could do that, so I did it. Now I just want a donut. We were at a friends home in Philly. Several of our friends, all couples, came from all over the country just to have a reunion it seems, but It was impromptu. Dana and I happened to be in New York for a Home Schooling conference, so we decided to take the train to Mark and Sonia’s house just to surprise visit. Apparently, four other friends decided to do a surprise visit being in the area for different reasons. I had forgotten how rowdy we all are when we get together.

 I was starting to hate the relationship magazines. 

We tend to speak about every taboo subject! None of us really agreed on politics or religion though we all shared the same faith. I heard the back and forth as I eyed those donuts. I could feel my mouth watering and my stomach churning. I looked at my wife and then at the donuts. Dana smiled lovingly knowing that I would not break the agreement because she read the same magazine that I read! I hated that I let it out that I wanted to work on the trust and support issues.

I also read in the magazine that in supporting a spouse you should not resent agreements made with full understanding and agreement. I could never resent that smile of hers, and she knew it! I could surely resent the agreement, though.

I was starting to hate the relationship magazines. I will place all my anger toward the diet on the magazines. I think I was tricked into this. I didn’t need a cleanse of my body! I needed a donut! A big fluffy powered donut!




“Chase,” Sonia said snapping me out of my lust for donuts for a second. “You been eyeing those donuts since I put them out. Why you not eating?”

I smiled and looked at my wife again who simply returned the smile and shook her head with her nose pointed to the sky. “I am on a diet,” I said.

“Dana, What is this about a diet?”

“Girl, we started yesterday,” Dana explained. “After all these kids it is time to do some cleansing! Chase agreed to do it with me.” She winked at me.

“Dana, you don’t need to loose any weight,” Meagan offered with her husband Dequan shaking his head in full agreement. “Chase is already 20 pounds away from bones, and you are still nursing a baby. You need all the calories you can get.”

It went back and forth likes this for a while with friends trying to convince Dana to postpone the diet. I agreed with them, but I made the agreement. Dana had put on a few pounds, but it looked good on her. I have never been overweight. I was still athletic and limber from my college days–and I intend to stay this way.

I saw the donut waved in front of my face and I almost took a bite. It had only been one day, and I was struggling! But it was donuts! Oh, cruel world. I looked at my wife again, and she finally submitted. She said I could have one donut.

I picked it up with savor, a huge powdered donut. I knew that it was full of calories and bursting with flavor. I fixed my mouth for the first bite, and a monster ripped passed and snatched the donut from my grasp! It was a three-year-old. It was my three-year-old.

“No donut Daddy. You and Mommy are on a vegan diet,” she said as she stuffed the donut in her mouth and smiled as if I were not about to attack her!

“Well, Deyshae has decided that you cain’t have it,” Sonia laughed out.

I was upset. We brought the two youngest kids with us and left the older two at home with Dana’s mother and father. I wished that Deyshae would just disappear right then. Boy, I wanted to pull the parent card, but she looked so cute with all the powder on her face. I just laughed and reached for another donut.

I looked at my wife and changed my mind. “Dana, you guys, I think I am going to stick with my diet. ”

I picked Deyshae up and cuddled her for a moment as she squirmed to get away. I sat in a chair for a moment with my eyes closed. Visions of donuts started dancing in my head. Before I knew it, I was fantasizing about donuts!




Yum yum, yum yum eat them on a bed!



“I am going for a walk to kill the temptations” I blurted out in agonizing volume to drown out the jingly in my head as everyone gazed at me a little shocked. They all started laughing.

“Uh uhn. let me see yo wallet,” Sonia screamed. “You know you gon go to the store and buy a candy bar–talking about you gon walk off the temptation.”

“I promise, I won’t do that,” I said telling it more to my wife than Sonia. “I just need to clear my head and get V8.”

“You want me to go with you,” Trevor said poking at his wife, Pam. “You shouldn’t be out there alone.”

“I’m fine,” I retorted. “I will be back, you guys–shortly.”

“Okay babe, don’t get lost,” Dana waved me out.

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